


Exist

by xenelle055



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Original Character(s), Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenelle055/pseuds/xenelle055
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A certain purple banded brother made himself exile because of something that isn't supposed to exist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

_"Donnie, this is wrong."_

_"Raph, I love you and you felt the same."_

_"Yeah, this is why we need to stop."  
\---_

_"Don! Don! You okay?"_

_"Yeah. I'm just not feeling well."_

_"Maybe it's because of the wound you had during our mission with the Kraang?"_

_"Maybe…"  
\---_

_"You know Donnie *hic* I still love you. *hic* I want you so badly…"_

_"Me too, Raph. Me, too."_

_"Then, let's spend this last night *hic* of being together. *hic*"_

_"… Okay."  
\---_

_"Hah! Raphie!"_

_"Not too loud,"_

_"Uhn!"  
\---  
"It can't be! It can't be! That virus! That virus must have caused this! Should I tell it?! But Master will hate me for this! My family would be ashamed of me! Raph and I… Raph… Should I kill it? No… No! It's your fault. Not the baby's. If Sensei didn't care, you should be lost and dead long time ago."_  
\---  
My name is Donatello Hamato, the brains of the team. I trained ninjutsu under my father, Master Splinter. A year ago, I left my dearest home and lived to an abandoned area under a large oak tree. With April's help, I was able to build a new "lair". She said I shouldn't stress too much because of my condition.

I was pregnant. Yes, I'm a male and I'm pregnant with Raph's child. During my tests with Leatherhead it was discovered that when I have the virus, I had the hormones of a female. You can say my internal body is turned into a female.

But the chance the egg would survive is slim as my body is not accommodating for pregnancy. If that happened, I can have my life back. But… Poor thing.

After so many trips to the bathroom, mood swings and cravings, I laid an egg on an improvised bath tub with soil in it. I felt proud for some reason.

But the electric circuitry is not done so it's hard to keep the egg warm. I'm scared that my egg might not hatch because of the temperature. April and I started to prepare for the hatching is getting near.

That aside, it seemed that Raph is back being the Nightwatcher again. She said the team searched for me. They will not understand my situation. They would think I'm a sick bastard.

I heard Raph had been seeking other dimensional species as well… He and I are not together anymore. So let him be.

After a few months, the egg hatched.

It's a boy. He is so beautiful. He had my skin. But after a few days, I'm shocked. He opened his eyes. Golden orbs. He got his eyes. He got his Daddy's eyes. But then again, I'm really happy. My little dumpling. It's so worth it.

"Welcome, my baby Rigel."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.
> 
> Wow, I didn't realize many people will be interested in this ahaha

Don's POV:

We need to do extreme care for Rigel in the few months after his hatch. Even I had one son, he's a handful. But every time I stare at his eyes, he reminded me that he is an unexpected gift.

"Donnie, are you sure you're not going back to your home?"

"It's better not to ruin more what's already been done."

"Rigel needs another parent, too. Someday he will realize why he only had one."

"I can be both! I'm a Dad and a Mom! Master Splinter raised us alone, too. Rigel should understand that."

"I'm not here to argue, Don. It's just…"

"I know what you mean. But do you really think Raphael will understand this? He will only say that it would hurt his macho pride or something like that. He would laugh and never believe me."  
\---  
It's really hard having power outages. I had to provide my own body heat to Rigel. I noticed though he sleeps like his Dad. It's really adorable.

One night really challenged me, when Rigel was around 6 months old. He got severely sick, April is out of town, so I have to leave and return quickly. I went on this clinic to get some medicines. Well, living under the sewers, didn't have any technological equipment and being jobless is really hard.

I got some medicines for Rigel until…

"Hey, what ya doin' there?"

No. NO. He's here. I know that voice. I did not dare look back. I know it's Raph… Or the Nightwatcher.

"Seemed you're havin' a little fun stealin' eh?"

I quickly jumped on the window. Only to catch the ridge of the building and climbed up. The Nightwatcher used his manriki to hoist himself up. I paced faster, like a prey trying to escape from the claws of a predator.

I hopped from rooftop to rooftop. I just need to get to Rigel. My baby is sick.

It was a close catch as he tried to get me using his chains. But I was able to hide myself. Ha! I knew his tricks in his sleeves. I lived with him as far as I can remember.

I quickly went back and tended to my little dumpling. Thank goodness he got recovered and being his happy self again.

That encountered though, seemed that Raph didn't change.  
\---  
"Mama! Look! Nightwatcher! TV!"

I smiled at him as he is able to string many words already. Well, not to brag whom the genes came from.

Yes. My precious dumpling Rigel idolizes Nightwatcher. He says he is a hero kicking bad guys butt.

My son, he almost caught my butt that night.

"He's not a hero. He is just a show off, Rigel. Nightwatcher is a vigilante, a rebel."

"No, Mama! He's good! Nightwatcher! Hero!"  
\---  
Raph's POV:

I'm annoyed and pissed! I was in this buildin' when I saw a shadow on the next one. I checked it and I was right. Some dude is stealin' medicines.

I got up and ran there. I spoke up. He seemed to be wearin' a cloak. I knew he panicked, as I waited for him to move. I love how they play hard to get.

But I didn't expect he would be fast enough to jump that window. I used an alternate route, usin' my manriki to hoist and used as a vine. Yes, I took it from Leo the Jungle Boy.

I ran after him on the top of buildings. Man, he is fast. I like a little challenge. I threw my manriki to catch him but he seemed to be smart enough to feel when I'm goin' to attack.

He jumped off the building and I saw somethin' glimmer on his ankle before I completely missed him. Damn it! Fucking bad day!

My brain just had to process Donnie's anklet band I gave to him a year ago in the middle of a chase!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Don's POV:

I watched Rigel falling asleep while hugging my chest. That encounter with Raph entered my head again. He never changed, that grumble voice still made me tensed. Damn it. Why is fate messing with me again?! I don't want to confront him anymore. I want to hide for the rest of my life. It's not because of cowardice but because there's nothing to talk about already.

Raph and me… We were over long ago.

I don't want Raph, in any circumstances, and me be together because of Rigel. Also, bracing to the worst part, he might take Rigel away from me. I would fight my red clad brother if it's needed.

I lifted my feet to be more comfortable and saw the silver band around my ankle. If looked close enough, our names are engraved. Call me a fool but I still wore it.  
\---  
 _"I hope ya like it, Donnie. Always remember even though I didn't show it much, I'll always love ya."_  
\---  
Droplets of tears fell from my eyes. I tried not to be loud as my little dumpling is sleeping. I don't want my son to ask why I am crying again.

I really tried to avoid being bitter. I really did. I really tried working it out to last that forbidden relationship. But Raph placed his final word. I fought a battle that I knew I will lose in the end. Among the family, I'm the most sinful. I miss my family, I really do… But I don't want to mess that relationship up. It's the only thing they've got left.

So, I was thinking if I'm able to share Rigel with Raph…

No.

I'm capable raising my son and I did it. I don't need his help. But like April said, he needs two parents. I'm both a Mom and Dad! Yet Rigel is always calling me "Mama" even after all my teachings to call me "Papa".

But what if Raph saw us?

I really don't know how I would respond. Even a year after, it will not be a joyous reunion.  
\---  
Raph's POV:

The anklet thing made me think of him. Ever since that medicine robbery incident two months ago, it really left me ponderin'. I tried forgettin' his disappearance. I knew the reason why he ran away.

He hated me.

I had a great hangover after the break up. Even I'm done in bein' sober, I knew he thought I didn't love him anymore. But fuck it.

The weeks before he disappeared are the worst weeks. He and I are avoidin' each other. He often goes to Leatherhead. Then, he ran away. He disappeared.

My brothers seemed to know my distress but I just want to punch some suckers. So I became Nightwatcher again. Hopin' I would see him someday

I just want to see Donnie.

I want to be with him again.

I want him to know Leo and Mikey are engaged.

I want to start with him all over.

I want to make amends of the biggest mistake I ever did.

I want him to know I never stopped lovin' him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Rigel's POV:

I see Mama very sick today. I knew Mama tired himself too much. I really wanted to make Mama feel better.

"Ma… Ma…"

"Rigel… Baby, you go to sleep. I'm going to be okay."

"Aunt… 'Pril…"

"Baby, April is on vacation with Uncle Casey. Don't worry, I'll be fine." I heard my Mama coughing hard. It really sounded bad.

"You go sleep, okay?"

I crawled back to bed. But the rain is making me awake. I checked Mama again. Mama seemed like he ran fast for some reason and he is very warm.

"Raph… Raph…"

I blinked. Who is that? Mama, I'm Rigel. Mama is very sick. I had to get help. I hold Mama's phone. I always play games with it. Yet sometimes, I fumbled to other buttons.

I think I went to this list of names.

"Raph" is what Mama said. Maybe he can help Mama. I scrolled downwards to these names. Mama taught me some letters like in my name. My name is like this Raph Mama talked about.

I saw a name.

Ra-pha-el.

Raphael. It's a little different from Raph. Maybe they are the same person?

I need help for my Mama.

I pressed the button and put it beside my ear. It's making sounds.  
\---  
Raph's POV:

I grunted in frustration when my T-Phone rang loud. I lazily grabbed my phone and looked at the caller. My body froze and quickly pressed the button.

It's Don! It's Donnie!

"Hello, Don?! Donnie! Come back home!"

I really didn't know what words I want to say. I just need him home. But I heard nothin' followed.

"Don?"

"Ra… Raph?"

My eyes widened. The voice is not Don's! It sounded way younger.

"Wha-? Who are ya?! Why did ya have my brother's phone, kid?!"

I can hear the tense from the other line. I don't understand.

"Save… Mama."

I'm so confused. Then, I didn't hear anythin'. I lost the damn call!

I felt anger risin' in my chest again. The same feelin' I always experience. The fuse that is goin' to go off and explode. But I breathed deeply, tryin' to calm myself. I thought of Donnie smilin' at me.

After Don's disappearance, I consulted Leatherhead by the order of Master Splinter. He said I'm out of control and spiralin' into anger and depression. I learned how to minimize my anger. I don't want to fight with Donnie if he and I had the chance to talk. For a hot head like me, it's really a challenge but LH said the tip is to think of somethin' that makes me calm. For me, it's someone. His smile made me calm. His eyes washed my rage away. I like to think he had powers to tame me.

I still didn't know why that kid had Don's phone. Either way, it's a sign he or someone needs help.  
\---  
Rigel's POV:

I'm waiting here under the big tree. Mama built this elevator thing so I can come out easier and play outside. It's raining hard and made me wet even though I'm under the shade.

I want Mama to be better. I need help.

"… Kid?"

It's the same big voice earlier. Finally, Raph is here! I turned around and I'm really surprised.

It's Nightwatcher!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Raph's POV:

Okay, hold up, why is there a baby turtle in front of me?! I've never seen new mutants here in the city. He seemed surprised but very happy ta see me. Maybe he likes Nightwatcher?

This is the oddest thin' that happened ta me. Comin' from a turtle mutant, it says a lot. Seemed that either the mutagen touched a baby turtle like what happened ta me or… One which is the most disturbing thing.

"Hey, kid. My bud Raph told me to fetch ya." I had to lie. Even this is a mutant turtle baby I can't show my real self. Not takin' a risk.

"N-Nightwatcher! Hero!"

He stuttered. He must've stayed here too long.

"Okay, kid. Show me where yar Mama is."

I carried the kid as he pointed me the direction. I looked at him closer. This kid reminded me of Donnie though. The color of the skin is very identical. But his eyes are beautiful. He is like a baby Donnie. It made me realized somethin'. Somethin' might've happened to Donnie.

"What's yar name kid?"

The kid stared at me and smiled. This turtle tot is… Very cute.

"Rigel!"

I calmed down. I really thought Donnie became a young baby because of some insane experiment. The little one pointed the directions to some underground, like in the sweet sewer I lived in.

We stopped at the entrance as Rigel placed his eye near the scanner and granted access. Seemed that the little kid is smart at his young age. He reminded me of Donnie again. He can read comprehensive books like Rigel.

I miss Donnie. I wish I could see him again.

"Mama!"

Rigel's voice broke my thoughts as he pointed at a bed with someone sleepin' and a towel on her forehead. Now I felt I'm a baby sitter.

I got closer ta see what is wrong to his mother. High guess she is sick.  
\---  
"Raph…"

I froze. I heard the tiny whisper even I'm wearin' my helmet. I knew that voice. Am I hallucinatin'? I walked closer. My fingers are cold even though I'm wearin' gloves.

My eyes widened. I felt my heart stopped.

It can't be.

Donnie. Donatello.

It's him! It's Donnie!

That face! I'm happy I saw that face again!

I touched his cheek and rubbed my thumb on it.

"Mama…"

Rigel looked closer then moved his gaze at me. Donnie is pantin'. He is definitely not well. I had ta take action. My excitement had ta be aside for a while.

I had ta rescue my long lost lover.  
\---  
Donnie's POV:

I groaned as I wandered my eyes around. I just felt… Better. I had this weird dream that Raph is taking care of me. I know I'm very sick last night. I assured Rigel I'm alright.

My baby, he must've been woke up and hungry. I had to prepare my food for my little dumpling.

I put the blanket over my shoulders as I got up. My sight blurred for a second then it returned to normal.

As I approached the kitchen, I heard Rigel is speaking.

"Thank you… Save Mama… Nightwatcher…"

My most fear came. Shock enveloped my body. With the naginata in my hands, I entered and hold my child while pointing the blade at him.

The Nightwatcher. Raphael. He's here. He found me.

Even with his metal suit on, I can feel he is staring at me.

"What are you doing here?!" I shouted.

Raph saw me. He saw Rigel too.  
\---  
Rigel's POV:

I've never seen Mama that angry. I'm scared yet I wondered why Mama is angry at the Nightwatcher. He saw him in the TV all the time.

"Leave… NOW!"

I winced at Mama's tone. The Nightwatcher just remained standing there.

"Donnie…"

I looked up to him. Nightwatcher knows Mama!

"Donnie, we searched everywhere for ya! Our family misses ya!"  
\---  
Donnie's POV:

I know that from April. But I don't want to be found, especially from Raphael!

"Donnie… I…"

"Leave this place! I don't want to see your face ever again! Or else I shall mark you as my enemy!"

I really mean it. I don't want anyone disrupting my peaceful life with Rigel. I really want my family to know I'm okay yet… It seemed that Raph is confused and frustrated. Then, he just left.  
\---  
I wondered though, how did Raph knew where I am?

I heard my little dumpling crying in my arm.

Yup. I knew it. I sighed. I put Rigel on my lap and wiped his tears using my thumbs. I rubbed his shell to calm him down.

"Rigel, baby. Mama is not angry. I just need to know what happened. Tell me everything."

I know Rigel had a good heart. But I didn't expect at his age he will be smart enough to contact Raphael. As much as I wanted to reprimand my son, I don't want to punish him just because I don't want to talk or see his father.

Rigel started to talk.  
\---  
Raph's POV:

I took out some thugs who are trying ta rob some teenagers. I'm so pissed! So pissed for some reason! I'm happy I've seen him but he is hostile towards me! I feel so stupid that I left him! Now, he had another mate and became a father.

But he called him Mama. That means his mate is an alpha male. But I don't understand how he can reproduce. It's so illogical and nonsense.

Well, considerin' I'm a mutant ninja turtle bein' a vigilante, the world had gone cuckoo.

Is Rigel a child who turned into a mutant like what happened ta Donnie and me? Or he was in an experiment causin' him ta mutate? Now I feel I'm readin' comics way too much.

Or Donnie adopted him?

Then again, he had Don's skin and his diastema as well. He got his smarts too. How the shell he is able ta reproduce?! He's a male!  
\---  
… Donnie had another mate.

He didn't love me anymore.

I tied the thieves and dangled them in a streetlight. I ran on the rooftops, heavy teardrops of rain are blurring my visibility. I'm near to the manhole that leads ta the lair.

I have ta tell the family.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.
> 
> The backstory!

Don's POV:

I'm amazed by my little dumpling's intelligence when he tried to explain everything, with sobs along the way. It seemed that when Rigel called him using my phone, it reestablishes a signal so Raph can track it here. I had to note myself I'll disable it for good.

Now my poor baby is crying. I understood Rigel only wanted to help. I hugged my son, whispering him to calm down and I love him. His bravery is really imprinted from his father. It left me pondering if Rigel and I should relocate now that Raph found us. I found another abandoned reservoir in the other end of town. But most of the systems here are almost done. I had no problem reconfiguring everything.

Problem is Rigel. He loved this place, especially the tree above us as he likes to play with it. He will bombard me with a lot of small questions. Like before, if he had a Dad.

Rigel is taking a nap now. Well, I did tell him he had a father but… He left us. Rigel never questioned why his parents are both males and I'm glad with that. Although, he did asked what his father looked like.  
\---  
 _"He is a lot like you Rigel."_

_"But Mama, you, me… Same!"_

_"Hmm… I can see that. You see, your father… He's strong and brave… Though, he had a very short temper… He is passionate. He always protects."_

_"Like… Nightwatcher?!"_

_"Yes, my son. Like Nightwatcher."_

All that has happened left me being nostalgic, remembering bits of memories of Raph and I.

I remember the night I confessed to him. Well, forcedly because he saw my journal. I kept all of my dark secrets in that sole book.  
\---  
 _"Tell me the truth, Don. No running and in denials. Tell it in my face." He stared at me, those golden orbs that always made me breathless. I knew this will be the end of everything with Raph once I admitted it. It's not easy telling a dark secret, especially if you fell in love to your brother ever since I was a tot._

_"Yes, Raph. I love you."_

_He just remained silent and left, like what happened earlier. He avoided me for days as much as possible. I remembered the nights it really left me in despair whenever he did that._

_It was Thanksgiving when he approached me after all those agonizing days. We were at his room, finished dinner and the family had rested from the festivities. It's the most awkward event, waiting for his answer. No words had spoken so far._

_He just grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed my lips. My brain went to a stop, everything went to a stop. It took me long to get the message._

_I was the happiest turtle. Raphael was mine._  
\---  
Raph's POV:

Donnie and I were always together, that the family is starting to take notice. I admit I'm interested to Don way back but the current relationship I had with him, being brothers, stopped me from my tracks. I didn't know Don feels the same and upholds it until now. I learned Donnie is my solace, my sanity. He calms my nerves down for some reason. Brawn and brains it is. He and I always go stargazing in the fields in the outskirts or take some Chinese food and eat it at the rooftop.  
\---  
 _"Raphie, that's the Orion constellation!"_

_"We see that one often, Don."_

_"Yeah… Raph… Can we tell them about this?"_

_"No, Don!" Don looked away like being ashamed._

_"Don, I mean, we can't. We don't want the family to disgrace us."_

_"… I understand. But we'll tell them soon, right?"_

_"Yes, Don… We'll tell them… You know, that star is really bright."_

_"That's the star Rigel."_  
\---  
So, that's how he named his son… Rigel.

But those happy moments didn't last long.  
\---  
Don's POV:

Remember that quote the more you imprisoned a flame, the hotter it gets? It's kind of the same in this forbidden relationship. I know it's my fault as I'm dumb enough to reveal everything. Our sins got deeper and deeper. From small affection to sensual needs.

That first time.  
\---  
 _After sound proofing the room, Raph just grabbed me again and our lips are together. It was soft for a minute, and then became passionate. His tongue is dominating mine when he scooped me up like his bride and lay on the bed. Our hunger for lust got higher as his touches are making me drown in pleasure. I felt funny in the lower part of my plastron. Raphie took it slower and being careful, as this is new to us. I felt my member came out in the open and he started to really make me feel good._

 _It became more bliss since then. We did sinful and hidden couplings that only the walls can see._  
\---  
Raph's POV:

But it got worse as the weeks passed by. Apparently, everything became a shit storm. My other brothers are starting to really take notice, worse is, Master Splinter as well.

As much as it pains me, I insisted a separation, which Don begged not to. I felt a thorn in my heart pierced, as Don never begs. But I had to do it, for our sakes.

The relationship just went into a tragic downhill. I really love don, I really do. But I can't drag Don into the consequences, like being forcedly separated or even exile. He didn't talk at me for days. Even I can't take on what I did.

The team got together again for a mission. It's about the Kraang doing experiments... Most likely about mutation.

While fighting the Kraang, they are so many as I can't hold them any longer. Donnie shielded me. He pushed me away but he got wounded on his torso and leg. I panicked and also rage went to me as usual. Even though he and I are not together anymore, he is still my mate, my brother, the one I loved.

It was shown to be an ordinary wound and it doesn't have any side effects, as Leatherhead said.

I drank one night alone to wash everything away. My heart was heavier after the break up. I went home, being wobbly and very tipsy.

If I could remember, I went to Don's room.  
\---  
Don's POV:

He went to my room, seemed that habits are really hard to break. I smell the alcohol from him as he hugged me. I know he is drunk and his brain was shut down.

"Don... Before we never speak again, let me spend the last night with you..." Raph had entered the sober stage now. I gulped and breathed out, trying to hide the pain in my chest. He never changed his mind.

I... Don't know what to think... To say.

"Okay..."

His lips went to mine. I want this time to stop... And stayed at this event. I don't want this to last. I'm afraid what will happen the next day.

After that, we just ignored it as if there is no relationship had happened. Maybe to him it's nothing but for me it's different. I thought nothing worse will come but boy was I wrong.  
\---  
Raph's POV:

Every week had passed and Don got weirder and weirder. I mean, he got skittish, very sick and hogging the bathroom. Despite me ignoring him, I'm really worried to him. For the first time ever, I'm thankful that Leo intervened and had a family meeting. We were starting to have dark thoughts by what he is doing those past weeks.

As I knew him, Don said it's nothing and it was part of his experiment. Experiment, my ass.

So the family lets him go, but I continued to observe him. He got more... Nervous especially when I'm near him. I can't bear breaking his heart more than I intended to but I'm more miserable than him.

One night, I'm in a deep sleep...  
\---  
Don's POV:

For some reason, I've been weak. I had a lot of headaches and worst part is puking. I've hogged the bathroom a lot that it caused disturbance from my family. I reassured them that it's only a stomach bug. It got a lot worse to the fact I'm broken hearted and feeling sick as well.

Since it's gotten out of hand, I consulted my dear friend, Leatherhead. After physical tests, my ears rang from his news.

... I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant?

I'm pregnant?!

I reacted like that. Why in the world he said that?! Until my reptile friend calmed me down and explained everything. The wound in my leg had a "virus" causing the host to be reproductive like a female. Now, only a male sperm can make me possible to be pregnant and that's how he learned about my relationship with Raph, as he was the first... And last before this.

I can't take it to process all in my head. I'm a male (outside) and pregnant! I'm not capable enough to take care of a child... Or worse, what would my family react?! Especially Raph?!

Leatherhead saw my panicked state and he's been supportive from the start. It took weeks for me to sink it in. I'm pregnant with Raph's child.

What should I do with it?

Aborting it always went to my head. But I always remember Master Splinter never left us and even raised us despite the fact that we're out of the norm.

Many contradicting solutions... Many thinking alone... My behavior made Raph noticed it, I'm nervous whenever he's near. Maybe because of this dark secret I will never share to him.

I had to make a decision before my tummy becomes bigger.  
\---  
The last night, I sneaked in to Raph's room.

I saw my former lover having a good sleep. My tears are threatened to fall as I kissed his forehead. I panicked when he moved but he stopped. That was the last time I'll see him, the thought of that made me unleashed a waterfall.

I whispered, "I'm sorry, my love... Even I'm not here, I'll always love you."

I brought my bags and left my sweet sewer home.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Raph's POV:

After lanes in the sewers I finally reached the secret compartment that had access to the lair. I remembered Donnie used to build things for their protection and even entertainment. He always thinks of the welfare of their family than himself.

I remembered when he gave me the Shell Cycle during our first monthsary in being together.

I was very happy. I still had it till this day, taking care of it and all.

"Look who came back after his vigilante duties." You guessed it. The fearless leader.

"Shut up, Leo. I need to talk to Master."

"About what? You came home very late, Raph! It's early in the morning! You said-!"

"It's about Don."

Man, I really hate it when Leo becomes a mother hen. I had to tell the truth to shut him up. I saw Mikey at the kitchen door, seemed he heard the conversation as well by his expression.

"You… You found him?!"

Don's POV:

I didn't realize I fell asleep beside my dumpling. I had to talk to him later when he's calmed down about the relocation. I went to the kitchen to cook bacon and eggs as breakfast while checking my mail in the laptop… That I rigged of course. After setting down the food I read an email…

It's from the company I applied. I got accepted! Finally! I have a job as tech support! Woohoo!

"Mama?" I turned back. Awww… Such a cute baby, he always reminded me of his father when he is sleepy. It made my mood go down again now that I remembered Raph. But, this is a good day. I finally had a job. I will have no problem scrounging for food and toys for my baby. I can improve the place as well with more aesthetics.

"Good morning, baby." I said while helping Rigel sat on his high chair and then I gave him a plate of bacon and eggs. Also with a glass of apple juice, his favorite drink. "Good news, baby. Mama had a job now!"

I saw my son giggled. He knew Rigel will understand little but he seemed happy as well. I sat down while I feed him with a spoon. "Baby…"

"I found another good place we can live. Do you want there?"

Of course I expected Rigel's answer is a decline. "Mama… Love… Stay… Here!" He sniffled.

This is bad. "O-Okay! Baby! I'm just asking! No need to cry…" He stopped crying as I rubbed his little shell. "We will stay here." I reassured him then starting feeding him again. I sighed. I just have to tighten the security protocols.

Raph's POV:

"I found him, Sensei."

My two other brothers were kneeled beside me. I remembered the state of the lair. We really tried our best to maintain it, especially the security. Many things are broken now that we haven't able to use it. We just realized then, that we took advantage of him. It made me feel guiltier. It felt I only used him for everything.

We need him.

I… I need him.

"... Donatello, my son… I'm happy he has been found."

"What should we do, Sensei? Should we visit him?" Mikey asked.

Sensei closed his eyes and sighed.

"Knowing my intelligent son, he will keep himself hidden further now that Raphael founded him. He is still hostile towards to him. There is a high possibility he will be to me and your brothers."

It's basically saying it is my entire fault this happened. I made Don broken hearted. I made him ran away.

"I… I found something else, Sensei."

All eyes are on me, they gasped when they heard Don had a son. Sensei still remained composed.

"I don't know who this mate is…" I really don't know. I want to know, even though I don't have the right to it.

"It's weird though, he must've had contact with someone to deliver the child. Well, you did mention the kid is a mutant like us… So maybe, he still had contact to the people who knew us." I looked at Leo. It clicked on me. It made sense.

Don is not stupid enough to not speculate the result of the baby, either with human or other mutant as his mate. Don taught some lessons about genetics to the family because of the form we had.

"You mean… One of our friends knows where Don is all along?" Mikey said.

"Yeah, I had a feeling I know who he asked."

Don's POV:

My little dumpling is being happy as usual that he watched news again about the Nightwatcher. After that, he watched some wrestling. Such uncanny resemblances to his father.

I really wanted to relocate, to remain hidden now that Raphael had found us. I don't want any more drama and such. Knowing my family, he will ask me so many questions. He might've had told the family about this. But I can't move because Rigel enjoyed here. Rigel is my little world now. Not them. I exiled myself to them because I disgraced them.

I smiled hearing Rigel's giggles when his favorite wrestler just defeated his opponent. I did told him that his father was a wrestler before, well sort of, when Raph got in a ruckus in this wrestling match he went with Leo. It made the little one very happy. He must've thought his father is really a wrestler.

I haven't told my son the nature that we had. All he knew is he and I had to hide. He didn't know I'm a practitioner of martial arts but he did saw me doing warm ups, to keep my body in shape. Sometimes, he liked to join too. Even though he mostly crawl and still practicing standing up, I only move his chubby little arms and the little bun is just giggling.

Oh dear, little one is getting cranky now the show is over.

Leatherhead POV:

I'm very glad my friend Donatello got hired in his job. He always finds a way to get what had to get done. I heard from him that Raphael had found him and his son wanted to stay. Even I don't know what he must do, as he had to consider his son's wishes.

He is aware of my feelings towards him. But I knew he will not reciprocate it and I understand.

As his heart got captured by another.

I had to admit, I would've had sent Raphael in the stretcher if Donnie didn't stopped me. Despite how Don hates to talk about his past relationship with him or his denying that he still holds feelings, I knew he still cares to Raphael.

I held this secret for many months as I'm the one who usually checks up on Donatello when he was… Pregnant. I'm glad his son is healthy and well. Such a spirited and an intelligent one like his… Mother.

Despite of that, I had to disregard my feelings and continue to support my friend. Right now, he is chatting with me via Skype.

Donatello Hamato: Oh dear… Rigel is getting cranky again. I'll go back later.

Leatherhead: Alright, see you later.

He got offline after. I noticed my mug is empty. I stood up to get some tea when I felt presences and a knock at the door.

I opened.

"Hi, LH!" Mikey greeted. I saw Leonardo smiling and Raphael with his usual frowned face and arms crossing.

"Oh, what brings you here?" I asked and let them in.

"We would like to ask you… About Donatello."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Leatherhead POV:

It seemed that Raphael had told them about Donatello and somehow went to me to ask for some information. I can feel Raphael is glaring at me.

“Raphael had found Donatello last night. We wanted to know if you have been in contact to him.” Leonardo said. They are watching what I am going to react to it.

“Donatello has been found?! I’m glad finally my friend had been found at last.”

“He… He had a son. There is no way that he handled that alone, other than his… Mate.” Michelangelo explained.

“Are you saying Donatello is incompetent?” I asked them. My anger is slowly flaring up. Donatello is intelligent and saved their turtle buttocks countless times. Sometimes I think they didn’t give him enough appreciation.

“No, LH! We mean he must have network to continue communicating with. You were close friends with him.” Leonardo said.

“I haven’t had any contact to Donatello for months.” I lied. I knew Donatello doesn’t want to see them now, especially gathering information about him. “I’m really sorry. Like before, I can’t provide you any information.”

\---  
Raphael POV:

I looked at the big croc denying that he knew something while Donatello is away. But I felt there is something… Something that we need to crack.

I noticed Leonardo had a different aura now. Like he can smell something is up. I watched the interrogation going on. I can see LH’s patience is getting thin the longer it happens.

I take a look around in his called sanctuary. There are a lot of old angel statues and technological equipment everywhere. Behind Leatherhead, I noticed something.

Donatello’s picture is on the computer screen.

That’s it. This charade had to be over. I need answers. LH had a short temper but we all know my fuse is shorter.

“Cut the crap, LH! Tell us what happened to Don!”  
\---  
Donatello POV:

It’s such a handful taking care of a baby, especially if it had genes of the cranky, short tempered, adrenaline junkie Raphael. At least he is slowly getting drowsy while drinking his bottle of milk.

I noticed Leatherhead is still online. I want to talk to him what I should do so my family will not find me here. It’s either I relocate or tighten my security by making more camouflage technology. I forgot I had to complete my requirements to my new job and disable the signal in my phone. But I need Leatherhead’s help with the supplies.

He’s always been there for me ever since this whole Rigel thing happened. He quite grew fond of the kid as well. He reads him stories and gave him books to read. I’m… Very aware of his advancements before, I really tried to love him. I really do but it’s nothing but I only see him as a close friend.

Now that Rigel is completely asleep, I need to talk to LH. I pressed ‘Call’.  
\---  
Raphael POV:

The showdown is going to start until we heard a familiar sound in Skype when someone is calling. We looked at the screen, Donatello’s name and picture is flashing, seemed to waiting for LH to pick it up.

Leatherhead is lying.

“Care to explain that, LH?” Leo offered. I can feel the cork is about to pop off. I prepared myself as LH’s iris changed.

Before I could charge because LH is thrashing himself, Leo and Mikey grabs his arms to calm him down. “LH! Calm down! We only need answers!”

“You knew we searched for him far and wide and YOU KNEW WHERE HE IS!” I screamed. I felt my adrenaline rose over. “Raph, you are not helping!” Leo screamed.

“You left him in despair! Why did he even bothered to love you?!” LH growled.   
“Raph, stop! This is not helping! We need explanations from LH!” Leo said. Mikey now restrained me from advancing.

“Look, LH. We searched for Don everywhere, you know that. I know you have reasons why you have to keep it from us but we missed him. We… Missed him a lot especially Master.” Leo explained. “We just wanted to talk to him peacefully, we will die trying. We just want our brother.”

“Just help us, LH. You knew the situation in the lair. Don doesn’t know Sensei had illness in the lungs.” Mikey said. Yeah, dear old Dad’s body got caught up all of a sudden. Don is the doctor turtle in the family but he ran away which added distress to him as well. Leatherhead is still giving us all the help, including our other friends such as April and Casey, but we knew Don will give significant input about it.

We know it will cause much worry when Don find out about this. He cares to Sensei deeply; one example is he did everything he can to bring Sensei back from cyberspace.

“Seemed that Don doesn’t know about Sensei’s condition either. You didn’t tell him.” Leo said. Leatherhead stopped thrashing around as his iris went back to normal, a sign he is slowly calming down.  
We heard Leatherhead sighed. “He had many problems that I don’t want to pile it up more, even if it concerns to his beloved father. April and I discussed not to tell him, he is having emotional problems already to… His mate and their son.”  
\---  
Leonardo POV:

I looked at Raphael. He seemed to be troubling with something to what LH had said. I knew deep inside, he still cares to Don. He spent many hours every night patrolling just to hope he will encounter Don. That fact that he comes home late annoys me much but I can’t blame him because I will do the same to Mikey.

“What happened to Don and his mate?” I asked. Leatherhead looked at me. “I…”  
“LH, we need to know something so we can understand what is going on...” Mikey said. LH is close to Mikey; sometimes I let Mike do the talking to calm LH down and to cooperate better.

“I will tell everything… But you all promised me not to tell to Don anything until he is ready. He is in hiding because he thought he disgraced himself.”

Disgraced himself? But Don is the least person who can do that! He is an intelligent, caring brother who always got our backs. I mean, we will die so many times if it wasn’t for his inventions.

“He approached me because he is not feeling well that time. I ran some tests on him.” LH said while looking at his filing cabinet. He pulled out a folder with Don’s name in it. “He didn’t believe it at first… Then, I believe he ran away after that.”

“What? What happened to him?” Mikey asked. LH pulled some pictures of the ultrasound and the monthly checkups Don had. There is something written of “Rigel Hamato” and his parents under.

“He was pregnant with Raphael’s child.” LH said, pointing at the parents fill up box with “Donatello Hamato” and “Raphael Hamato”.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.

Michelangelo POV:

I saw Raph took a step back, his eyes widened and sweating. “M-ME?! WHAT?! How is that possible?! He and I are both males so you better stop fucking with me, LH!” He shouted.  
LH growled menacingly. I rubbed LH’s arm to calm him down. He is prone to outbursts when someone is hostile to him.

“I know. But the last mission before he left is probably the answer why such… Occurrences happened.” LH explained.  
“Hmm… If I could remember, the one where we went to a Kraang base when they are doing something about mutation?” Leo asked.  
“Yes… I learned that the Kraang are doing something for their experimented mutations to be able to reproduce.” He said. “But apparently it had properties of viral. It can transmit.”  
“So… Basically, Don is a female inside but a male outside?” Leo asked.  
“Yes… Only one time though. Once he gave birth, it will be flushed out along the way… As far as it goes, Don is cleared and his internal is back to his normal state.” LH explained. I saw Raph being too shocked in what happened. We are all surprised as well… Don being pregnant?!

“He is ashamed to himself about what happened. He knew he is a disgrace and did a self exile as he can’t get rid of the child. He thought his family couldn’t take such odd happening.”  
I do starting to understand Don’s decision. Sensei had taken care of us since kids.  
“And we are not an odd happening?” I said after thoughts are circling in my head and started to process. Well having a mutated crocodile and turtles are pretty normal, they say. LH chuckled a little.  
“Donatello… He is very broken hearted and depressed the time I saw him. He told me Raphael separated from him because of such secrecy of their relationship from their family.” Raph remained silent but I can feel there are many thoughts running through his mind.

If I could remember, Raph and Don are being awkward and trying to avoid each other. When Leo and I asked for Sensei’s blessing and he accepted it, Raph threw a big tantrum, saying that Sensei is unfair. If only they asked for Father’s blessing, this will be on a different take now…

“Can you tell us where he is?” Leo asked. Leatherhead shook his head. “I’m sorry… This one I don’t have much information about it. I usually had communication to Don online but not in person. He only visits me here.” He answered. We can sense the truth in what he had said this time. We can see the confusion and frustration to Raph. We are just surprised he stood and ran outside.  
\---  
Leonardo POV:

“Raph! Wait!” I screamed while Mikey remained in LH’s home for support as LH is prone to lose control whenever he is in stress. I paced faster when Raph is aiming to go to the surface. He went to the manhole and started to climb himself up to the rooftop. I’m able to use my ropes and swing myself up. I was able to catch him.

“Fucking leave me alone, Leo!” Raph screamed and gritted his teeth. “I don’t wanna hear any of your bullshit!” Having to argue and fight him as long as he can remember, I seem to ‘read’ Raphael’s emotions.

“It’s not “bullshit” if this is about Donatello, Raph.” I answered. The news is still sinking to me as well. Just realizing I will be an Uncle. I never thought I will be an Uncle ever in my life. “I know you still love him.”

“Having a kid is not in the conversations, Leo!” He turned around. “What would you do if Mikey got pregnant?”  
“I will love my kid and accept him without any hesitation.” I answered. I will not expect that will happen to Mikey and I. But if it did, I will be happy as I will have my own family with my mate.  
“Ha! Leonardo wanting to be a daddy!” Raph laughed. Many said I have a long patience but every time Raph is testing it, it gets thin. “Never thought a stuck up responsible Splinter Junior wanted to settle down!” My eyes squinted as I flicked my sword and pinned him.  
He is going way too far especially he is mocking Donatello’s decision. My scabbard is in his neck. Raph was surprised but he is pissed he lets his guard down.

“Is this what it is?! Responsibility?! Fate sure is amusing, Raphael.” I gritted my teeth. I’m so done in his tantrums, especially if it directs to Donatello. “I know my ground. You are fortunate enough to have a child and you are disregarding it! Believe me, I had more responsibilities and I never throw any childish tantrums!” Okay, I’m definitely angry. I wanted my smart brother home. I wanted my family whole and happy again. I’m surprised to myself I got angrier than I thought. It’s my responsibility to keep my family safe and that includes Donatello and his son.  
“Donatello loved you. If you love him, you will make a way to make your relationship work again.” I stood up, seemed Raphael is calmed down now.

“Never thought you will give a love advice.” Raph grumbled as he dust off the dirt.  
“It’s not a love advice… It’s a brotherly one.” I said. I just hope Raph will understand what I meant.  
\---  
Raphael POV:

What I really hate the most is Leo pinning me. But his words like throwing knives at me. Honestly, I really don’t know what to do. Donnie ran away from me and now he is pregnant with my kid. My own kid.

Rigel.

But Donnie hates me. He doesn’t want me to find him. What more of sharing his kid to me?  
I only grumbled. I only stared above, there are white specks falling.

“Hmm… It’s starting to snow. Well holidays are in the corner now.” Leo said. Leo’s phone began ringing. Mikey seemed to be in the other line.

“Okay, we will wait for you here.” Leo said and closed his Shell Cell.  
“What?”  
“We have one more person to ask. Leatherhead felt that is the person Don always gets contact with.”  
\---  
Donatello POV:

Oh, dear. It’s snowing. I checked the weather and it will be a blanket of snow the next days. The little dumpling is now awake after hours of nap and he is being excited to snow in TV.

“Mama! Mama! Snow!” He squealed. I smiled at him, his cute yellow eyes. It’s like the color of the sun. It reminded me so much of his father.  
I opened the heater so my baby will be warm. It’s weird. Leatherhead is not online as he usually is when I checked my Skype.

“Yes, baby. It is snow!” I carried him and nuzzled his beak, making him giggle. I have to ask April if I can stay there. This place is too cold for Rigel when winter comes even with the heater. I was looking for the bags as I’m calling April. You know, multitasking skills of a parent is a practice. Little Rigel is playing his motorcycle toy, kind of what Raph used to play before when he was a tot. … I got to stop thinking about Raph! He is out of my life and I will not let him trick me again!  
\---  
April POV:

I was washing the dishes when I noticed the weather had changed. Well, I will expect that Donnie will call for Rigel and him to stay here. I’m a little tired of making excuses that the guys had to stay to Casey’s because of Donnie doesn’t want to be found especially by Raph.  
But you know… I really want them to be together. Little did the family know, after his search to Don every night, Raph drops by here and hang out. Sometimes with a couple of beers, he confided to me, mostly about Don. I can’t tell him what happened to Donnie, I can’t tell him he had his son. I promised Don not to tell.

I know Donnie still loves Raph. He still loves him very much that sometimes, he asks how is Raph doing… Although in a sheepish manner, I understand he wanted to be updated to his… Former mate. I know deep inside, Don is hoping Raph would still give a care of remember him. But I can see how Don got his heart crushed because of Raph calling it quits.

Oh, Don… If you only knew.

The knocking on the door broke my thoughts. I finished cleaning the dishes and went to open the door.

“Hey, April.”  
“Hey, guys.” I greeted. It’s Mikey and the others. I let them in and sat on the couch. “What are you guys doing here?”  
“We just want to ask some questions.” Leonardo said.  
\---  
Donatello POV:

I’m watching the news of the snow is falling down in a faster rate than last year. He isn’t done with the things here in his lair, like make sure security and electricity are well, make sure I got everything backed up and running well. I don’t want the snow get in the lair.

I saw my baby started to shiver. He is weak in cold, like I am. I grabbed some coat, pants, socks and a scarf to keep him warm. My baby smiled and giggled when warmth covered him. “We better get you to April once I’m done here, baby.” I said, which reminds me I had to call her.  
\---  
April POV:

What’s this all about?  
“April, we went to Leatherhead earlier and… He’s been talking to Don.” Leonardo explained. They are questioning me once again where Don is. “And… He never met him personally but there is a bigger chance you did.” He said.  
“So you better tell where the shell is Don-!” Raph said. Leo stopped his rant. My eyes wandered at them, seemed they knew about Rigel now. But they don’t know where really Don is.  
“I’m telling you guys, I still don’t know where Don is.” I reasoned.  
“April, we knew Don is here. We knew Don had a kid… You are his best friend.” Mikey said. Mike, I know you have nice baby blues but I will not be fooled by that.  
“Yes but I really don’t know where he is.” I said once more. “I would have told you guys if I knew.” Raph looked so livid. I really wish I can tell you, Raph. But I really can’t.  
Leo stared for a couple of seconds. Usually I don’t know what is running on his mind.  
“Okay, April. We just only asked because Leatherhead told us you might know.” He answered.  
“Is that why you dropped by?” I asked. Finally, I’m done with their interrogation. I don’t know how long I could keep up with this.  
“No. Winter is coming and Sensei is asking if we could stay.” Leo asked.  
“Sure! It’s no problem!” I said. It’s that time again where the boys and their father will huddle in blankets and pillows, eat all day and watch TV.  
“Well, we better get going and tell Father about it. Sorry about the questioning, April.” Leo stood up and bade their goodbyes.  
“It’s okay. Bye, guys!” I wave while they took their leave.

I sighed big time. Don you have no idea I always get the hot seat from your brothers whenever they ask where you are.  
The phone rang and picked it up.

“Hello?”  
“April?”  
“Hey Don, what’s up?” Speaking of the turtle.  
“April, I want to ask if you can let us stay there. It’s getting colder and Rigel needs something warm to stay on.” Don said on the other line.  
“Oh, Don. I would like for you to stay but… Your brothers…”  
“Oh. Seemed that they got first.”  
“I’m sorry. I’m surprised they didn’t wonder why I ask them to stay at Casey’s sometimes.” I said. I’m worried of how Don will make a way to have a safe, warm shelter to Rigel.  
“It’s alright, April. I will make a way.” He said. I hear a lot of shuffling and transferring. He seemed to be preparing for the winter. “I have to go.”  
“Alright, Don. Be careful, okay?”  
“I will. Bye!”  
“Bye!”

I put the phone down and turned around.  
I stopped and my blood gone ice cold. 

His brothers snuck back here... And Raph is definitely not happy.

Leo stepped forward. “So… You said you will tell us if you know anything. Tell us. Now.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the story "Exist", it's an RaphxDon mpreg/turtlecest/AU sort of fanfic. Please respect as I'm experimenting writing "difficult" themes. Thank you.  
> \---  
> Warning: Turtlecest, RxD, sex, mpreg, Rigel!  
> So this is the first RxD mpreg story. Yes, this is Rigel's first appearance in a fic. This was released a year ago under the name Clara the Writer cause I was scared of revealing I had an OC and the fact I'm writing a mpreg.  
> The writings there are shorter and in POVs, as I'm experimenting writing.
> 
> It's back hahaha  
> I'm currently writing the next chapter. Still not done.

April POV:

Everything stood still. I don’t know what to say. What alibi am I going to say to cover the secret?  
“Tell us... NOW!” I flinched to the tone.  
Raph is so livid. The thing he hated the most is being betrayed. He told me his feelings but I didn’t speak a word that I have information regarding Donatello.  
I backed off, really scared to Raph’s rage.  
\---  
Mikey POV:

I had to be the reason turtle as April is getting scared to Raph.  
“Alright, guys. You’re scaring her.”  
“She knew where Don is all along and didn’t fucking tell us about it! We searched for months and little did we know our “friends” knew it all along?! She thinks we are idiots!”  
“No, Raph. I’m not. I give you assurance of that.”  
“Bullshit! Better start talking now or I will make you!”  
“Enough!”  
Big bro stepped in. I can feel there is anger in my mate. But I know Leo is more considerable in the situation. He stepped forward to April.  
“Tell us everything. No lies and alibis, April.”  
Even I shivered by how menacing Leo looked when he said it. I intervened. April is close to having a nervous breakdown. I know April will tell the truth now as she had no reason to keep it any longer.

“Sit down, April. I will get you some tea.” I said and turned around. “Same as you two, sit on the couch.” I ordered. Leo is surprised as I seemed to dominate the situation. Heh, I can play his game as well.  
Meanwhile, Raph growled, only to look at Leo, Leo’s gaze is telling to comply and gladly he did.  
The room remained silent after I returned with some tea and lemon cakes. I sat beside April after I set the table.  
“Okay, April. Ready when you are.”  
She talked.  
\---  
Leo POV:

After an hour, April had finished her confession. Don had been staying here whenever there is a bad weather. It made sense now that she doesn’t want us here. I had been wondering why April started to decline to stay in her home.  
“This is all I know, guys. I’m sorry. I wanted to help more I really-”  
“What about Rigel?”  
We looked at Raph. I’m surprised that he didn’t remain silent.  
“Anything about Rigel? W-Well… Rigel likes to learn. He likes playing his cars and motorcycles. He likes watching wrestling in TV. He is a cranky baby mostly…”  
Raph just remained silent. The way April described the kid, it’s almost like Raph when we were tots before.  
“So what now?”  
“I have a plan.”  
And I hope it works.  
\---  
Don POV:

The snow level is rising each hour. I had to find a temporary place to stay in.  
My phone rang. I already finished packing Rigel’s things. He is good to go.  
“Hello? April?”  
“Hey, Don. I called you to say that your brothers cancelled their stay here. They say they will remain in the lair.”  
“Wait, what? The sewers are too dangerous in the snow conditions. Why they will stay back? The snow is getting thicker.”  
“They had upgraded the base of the lair so it’s higher.” Oh, I guess they don’t really need me. They seemed to be fine without me.  
“Alright. I will drop Rigel there. My things are not done here. Thanks, April.”  
“No problem. Be careful, Don.”  
I closed the call and hurriedly grabbed the bags and my baby to go to April’s.  
\---  
Mikey POV:

“Okay, Don will stay here.” April said as she finished the call. “He is going to drop Rigel here as he is not done in his packing yet.”  
“Alright, the plan is going well so far.” Leo said.  
“I already packed our things in the attic for a while.”  
“Is Master Splinter alright there?”  
“Yup, warm and cozy.” I replied.  
“I’m worried though. The weather is getting worse by the hour.” April spoke.  
\---  
Don POV:

I arrived in April’s place after 20 minutes. Rigel is a little cold and I’m thankful that I had found a place to stay for a while.  
I knocked on the door and April opened it.  
“Hey, April.”  
“Hey, Don. Come in.” I went inside and it felt so cozy, my little baby purred in delight.  
“Aww… Hi, baby Rigel.” April cooed and Rigel giggled. He liked her Auntie April. She helped me place the bags down.  
“I had to go, April. I have my things unpacked yet.” He said then gusts of wind were heard outside. I passed Rigel to April quickly.  
“Don! It’s dangerous! There is a blizzard now.”  
“I’m sorry April. I must get my stuff.” I kissed Rigel’s forehead. “Mama will be back, okay?” I said and ran outside.  
“Don!”  
\---  
April POV:

This is bad. I hate your stubbornness sometimes, Donatello. I cradled the little baby when Leo and the others returned from their hiding spots. I knew they saw what happened.  
They stopped and stared at the little bundle in my arms.  
“Is that Don’s kid?” Mikey asked.  
“Yes, Mikey. This is Rigel-”  
“Aww! You’re so cute!” Mikey ran quickly and cooed at Rigel. Mike is great with kids. I won’t be surprised that Rigel will like him. Rigel squealed in response.  
“He looked like Donnie.” Leo said.  
“Hi, Rigel! I’m Uncle Mike!” He scooted.  
“Hey, Rigel. My name is Uncle Leo…” He said. Then, Rigel started to cry. It made the leader surprised and in panic.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I just rocked the little bun in my arms.  
“He doesn’t like you Leo.” Mikey sneered.  
“What? I didn’t do anything!” Leo reasoned. Rigel cried until Leo backs off.  
“Maybe Rigel is just tired.” I said.  
“Or Rigel really doesn’t like him.” Mikey giggled. “Because Rigel had Raph’s blood after all!”  
I giggled. I noticed Raph just remained silent.  
“Leo.” I said with a serious tone, reminding him about Donnie.  
“I know. We will follow him.”  
“Leo, it’s pretty risky.”  
“We had no choice. Don’s welfare is more important than the plan.” Leo said.  
“But you too will be icicles there!” Mikey said. “It is too cold outside. The underground will definitely inaccessible. Is there another way?”  
“The tunneler in the lair. I can remote access and drive it here.” I said.  
“Okay, I’ll-”  
“I’ll go with you.” Raph interjected. Then, I noticed him looking at Rigel before looking back at Leo.  
\---  
Raph POV:

I had to help Donnie. I had a bad feeling.  
I saw the little squirt again. He doesn’t know I’m the Nightwatcher. He looks like Don a lot. When I got closer, he squealed and wanting me to carry him.  
“Here.” April said, wanting to pass the kid to me. I was hesitant. I’m not good with kids and I don’t know how to carry one. She gently passed him to me.

He is… Very tiny. He is giggling and moving his arms and feet.  
“Rigel seemed very happy. Maybe he knows…” April said.  
Well, he is still a kid, April. But who knows. At least this kid is not as hostile as Don. I only stared at the little squirt.

Don’t worry. I’ll save Don.

“That is so adorable!” Mikey said. I returned Rigel back to April so he can stop teasing me,  
“Come on, Raph. Let’s go.”  
\---  
Donnie POV:

I’m almost done with my arrangements. All bags are packed and ready to go. It is getting drastic outside. I carried my bags towards the door then…  
BAM!  
The ground shook and loud rumbling, rolling things are heard. I fell into the ground because of some powerful shock. I remained under the table I made for safety.

After a few minutes, the rumbling and the shaking stopped. It had gotten a lot colder that made my breathing shallow. I checked the security. My eyes widened and had sweat despite the chill.

All of my possible entrances were blocked by piles of snow. It is way too high, if I opened it, it will rush inside. I run in circles, trying to find a way out.  
I don’t know what to do. Now I felt extreme panic. I tried everything I can but no avail. I kept myself warmth as much as possible by putting so many blankets around me. I’m very weak to cold and hypothermia will be my great enemy.

Five minutes had passed. I shakily fumbled to my phone and trying to contract April or Leatherhead, only to realize that it is dead signal because of the storm.

Ten minutes had passed. I curled up and slowly feeling the lost of hope.

I wanted to be with my baby but at least Rigel is alright. I did the right thing to bring him to April.

My breathing got irregular as I shuddered. I will never see my father again… My friends… My brothers… I’m… Very sorry.

I felt dizzy… I… I can’t move. I want to take my clothes off but I don’t want to waste energy. I don’t know how long I’ve been here.

My baby… I don’t want to cry but… The fact he will not see me again… He didn’t even know his father… Mama always loves you, Rigel… Mama is sorry….

I gasped for more air. Maybe if I’m still with my brothers… Or if I’m still with Raph, he will know I’m in trouble. For some reason, he always had a knack to know if I was in trouble or not.

I remembered him again… The only one I loved. Raph…

I felt wet all over my cheeks.

I only loved you…

Why?

Why did you leave me?


	11. Chapter 11

Leo POV:

“We’re nearing the area, Raph.” I said. Raph knew about Don’s location since he found him when Rigel called for help. He’s in the sewer tunnel under the oak tree. We searched that area many times yet he is hiding there all along.  
I never saw Raph that… Soft earlier. I knew he still loves Don. He had been searching for him nonstop. I knew Raph’s decision before was a mistake. But I can’t blame him. During the time Mike and I talked about confessing it, he and I already packed our bags. We will run away if Father does not agree. I love Mikey and will go to anywhere with him. Fortunately, Father agreed and gave his blessing.  
I wish they would be together again.  
“We’re here, Leo! I’m going upwards now!” Raph said as he steered and accelerated as fast as he could.  
\---  
Raph POV:

Light had pierced through, signaling that we have reached an open space. Leo opened the door to scan the room for unpleasant surprises then I came out after. There are a lot of mechanical parts and blue prints. We definitely reached the correct place.  
My thoughts froze when I saw a familiar skin under the table.  
“Don!”  
\---  
Leo POV:

I ran after the moment Raph yelled. Raph gently held the shivering Donatello. He had gotten blue and pale. He had a shallow breathing and intense shaking. Not good. We must get Don out of here and make him warm.  
“Raph, you carry him to the tunneler. I will get his bags.” I ordered. Raph didn’t waste any time and carried Don with blankets wrapped around him.  
I picked as many bags and things as I could. Don was done in the packing. I saw the screens of the security cameras. Every pathway is blocked by snow. We definitely made the right plan not to travel above.  
Once the things are loaded, I steered the tunneler downwards again to return to the base. “How is Don?” I asked. I saw in the mirror that Raph is embracing Don, sharing his body heat to him.  
\---  
Raph POV:

Don is being layered by so many blankets but he needed medical help. Leo had send April a message to prepare warm tub of water and the heater. “Breathing is still shallow.” I answered. It’s been so long since I embraced him, the reunions sure are not positive.  
I’m always scared whenever Don is sick. There I said it.  
Don is a healthy guy but his habits are going… Out of bounds usually. He is crazy over some experiments and scientific breakthroughs which had helped us a lot during missions. Yet, he is pushing himself too hard.  
I… I can imagine he had to juggle everything just to raise Rigel. I don’t know… I wanted to be part of Don’s life again.  
But it is much complicated now.  
“We’re here.” Leo said and opened the door. Mikey and Casey are there to help.  
\---  
Mikey POV:

Don is not good. We rewarmed him slowly but he is having a fever. Leatherhead and April are currently checking on him, while I’m carrying baby Rigel. He is so cute. He had Donnie’s skin but… The eyes. The eyes are like Raph’s.  
Leo accompanied Sensei in the attic and to report what happened. Raph remained to Don’s side until now. I won’t be surprised that Raph will love his kid in a short time.  
Since he still loves Don.  
\---  
April POV:

It’s been a day and Don is still not waking up but his health is responding well. It is currently my duty since Leatherhead needed some sleep after all. He is currently staying for a while at the abandoned basement where Kirby used to stay in.  
Don may never believe or see it, but it’s endearing to see Raph beside him again. Until now, I’m still trying to convince Don to give Raph another chance as he still loves him. The usual reason I say is for Rigel’s sake.  
\---  
Don POV:

I felt so drained, like I’m really in zero energy. Am I dead? I’ve been hearing noises earlier. I heard Raph’s voice, he told me to go back. He told me he loved me. He told me to stay for Rigel. There is darkness around me.  
But I fought it. I tried.  
I… I opened my eyes. Hngh! It’s too bright! I blinked and slowly getting used to the brightness. I moved my head.  
I saw Raph sitting beside me, he is sleeping.  
It’s… It’s been months since I saw him like this. He used to do that to me when I was sick…  
Wait.  
Raph’s here. Why he is here?! Why am I in… April’s house?!  
Oh, no… Oh, no.  
They had found me. I don’t know how… But they had found me.  
What am I going to do now?  
They had Rigel… I tried to move my body. I feel so… Weak.  
I removed the blanket and dragged my legs to the floor. I used the side table as a support. I groaned softly by the shock of my muscles to move. I had victory to my head when I’m able to move, with the support of the side table and the walls.  
I’m almost halfway. I’m panting, my knees are shaking but I can do this.  
I can!

“Don?”  
I stopped and looked behind. Raph had awakened, still a little drowsy. God damn it.  
“Don!”  
My heartbeat is racing. Before I can move, my knees shook and just fell on the ground. I can hear the heavy footsteps going closer.  
“Are you okay? You could’ve just wake me up if you need something.”  
“I don’t need your help. I don’t want to stay here.”  
I heard Raph sighed. I’m testing his patience.  
“You’re still recovering. You are staying here until you got better enough to walk. Come on, I’ll help you get to the bed.” His hand is warm when he touched my shoulder.  
“I told you I don’t need your help!” He is nearing his limit of patience now.  
“Why are you being stubborn?! You could’ve died there, Don! If I had to bring your ass back to bed, I will do it!”  
“Put me down!” I yelled yet my throat hurts.  
The door slammed.  
“What is going on?!”  
\---  
Leo POV:

We were waiting for any progress until April heard some noises from the bedroom. I rushed and opened the door.  
“What is going on?!” I yelled. I saw Raph carrying Don while he is struggling.  
“He wants to escape by the window.” Raph said.  
“Raph. Put him down.” I commanded. He grunted but he did put him down gently to a spare chair. I thank the deities and fate that my brother is alive.  
“Hey, Don…” I said and kneeled down to his level. “It’s been a while.” I miss Donatello. Things are not well in the lair. There are a lot of broken parts. Our patrol in the tunnels increased as the security is not updated anymore. None of us are experts to that kind of thing. I miss the clanking and noises Don does whenever he is at work.  
“Come on, Don. Rigel will be upset if his… Mother is not well.”  
I could see Don’s shock in his face.  
“Y-You knew…” He looked at April. “You tricked me!” He yelled. “I trusted you!”  
“I’m sorry, Don. They found me.” She said.  
“Where is my son?!”  
“Rigel is sleeping in his crib.” April said. Don attempted to stand up. “I want to see him!”  
“Don, you are sick. I’m sorry but I can’t. I don’t want Rigel to catch your flu.” April explained fast as Don’s patience is getting thin. “Rigel had a weak immune system, remember?”  
This stopped Don and nodded. He is still hostile to us. I had to make Don cooperate or convince him.  
“Don, there is a blizzard outside. You are sick and almost died due to hypothermia. We missed you, Don. Just rest here for a while.”  
Don looked up.  
“You will stay here until you get better. Then, we will let you go with Rigel.” I saw Raph wanted to speak. “Not now, Raph.” I understood Raph’s action of protest but I had no choice.  
“… I don’t believe you, Leo.” Don replied.  
“Donnie, you know me. I abide by my honor. You have my word.”  
Don sighed. “Fine. But I don’t want HIM inside this room.” Don spoke and looked sharply at Raph.  
“Understood. But at least let Raph carry you back.”  
“No, I can handle this on my own.”  
I sighed. “Mikey is currently preparing some soup.” Don is near the bed now and I’m relieved he went back to the bed. “He will bring it here shortly.” I said. April already took her leave. “Raph, come on.” I said.  
Raph and Don just glared at each other but Raph had left with me.  
\---  
April POV:

Outside, Raph slammed his fist in the wall in frustration and anger. Their meeting is definitely not pleasant.  
“I lost my temper…” He murmured. I knew Raph wanted to talk to Don again to sort it out but Raph had a negative response whenever someone showed anger at him or tested his patience. I can see how Raph got hurt when his anger slowly dissipated. He told me some of their memories together and I knew that showed how Raph cares to Don.  
But Don doesn’t let him.  
\---  
Mikey POV:

I heard Don had woken up. As much as I wanted to run and be with one of my brothers, I had to prepare food for him.  
I miss Don. He is usually the peacemaker whenever there is tension. He helped us get some sweet ass stuff. He usually fixes or upgrades my game system. It made me realize how much we needed him when he ran away. I heard Don resisted to Raph earlier as well.  
I walked to Don’s room with a tray of food. Inside, Don is writing something. His aura is definitely in an alert mood.  
“What are you doing here?!”  
“Chill, Don. I’m just bringing some chow. It’s only me, Mikey.” I calmly said.  
“Oh… I’m… I’m sorry.”  
After putting the tray on the table, I sat down and carried the bowl.  
“I’m okay, Mike. I’ll feed myself.  
“Come on, Don. Just this once. I miss feeding you whenever you’re sick.”  
“Oh, when we were tots.” I blew the spoon and offered it to him. I’m just glad he didn’t argue much and accepted the meal.  
“It’s been a while since we last talked.” I said. “Don’t worry, I will not ask questions you aren’t ready to answer. I just want you well.”  
Don had gone silent. Among us, I’m the usual brother he had shared some of his troubles. It got lessen when Raph and him got together. Now that I think about it, I noticed Don is asking me such random questions, like about love relationships. It is probably about Raph.  
“I shouldn’t be here. I’m a disgrace to the clan.”  
“You’re not Don.”  
“No! I am!”  
“We knew about the kid and your relationship to Raph. Leo and I…”  
“I heard it from April. I’m happy for you two.”  
I’m sorry if I’m prying but… It’s not too late, you know… At least consider it.”  
“It’s too late, Mike.” Don said. “We can’t turn back the time or had another chance. I won’t be surprised if he only did that for consolation since he had a new mate or exploring to some dimensional chicks.”  
“We both know Raph isn’t like that. It is not consolation. We knew Raph is genuine to his feelings and actions. Also, he tried. But… Only one prevailed and it’s you.”  
There is a long silence and Don just laughed. “I’m sorry Mike but I will not believe you in that! He left me, Mike! He left me!” He emphasized. “He gave up! And so I gave up on him as well!”  
I was a little taken aback by the outburst.  
“Oh… I’m really sorry about that.” He spoke.  
“It’s okay, Don. I understand your insight but I’m just hoping you two can talk it out.” I said. In the positive side, Don finished his meal and took his medicine.  
“You rest well Don, okay?” I said. Don nodded softly, much to my surprise. I knew he is still broken hearted by what happened to Raph and him that result too much bitterness in him.  
I quietly went out of the room.  
\---  
Leo POV:

The snowstorm is still raging outside. We are all in our sweaters and blankets near the heater. Don is responding to his health well as his flu is slowly dissipating. Mikey had shared his discussion with Donnie to us. He is still hurt by what had happened to them and wanted to cut all ties. I looked at Raph. He is only staring at the window. He is broken by what Don said. I can attest to Mikey’s explanation that Raph truly loved Don. I accidentally see him in his room viewing their pictures together or just touching his anklet. He started wearing it a few weeks after Father gave blessing to Mike and me.  
I learned my lesson during my travels. People make mistakes and wrong decisions. We have to learn from them to move forward. I know Don is the most forgiving person among us. There will be a moment where he is calm enough to talk to him.  
I knocked before I peeked. It is my duty to give him food now as Mikey is taking a nap. I went inside when Don saw me carrying something.  
“Hey, Don. Are you feeling better?”  
“I’m fine. Thank you.”  
I sat down while holding a bowl of congee. “That’s good.”  
“Remember the deal, Leo.”  
“I’m not forgetting it. Honestly, I’m just sad that you distrust us easily. We are family, Don.”  
“Not anymore.”  
“We still are. Nothing will ever change that.”  
“I don’t need your lectures, Leo.”  
“You will not get one. Here, eat up. You need more strength.” I gave the warm bowl to Don. “I’m just scared in what happened. I almost lost my brother and I didn’t do anything about it.”  
“I… I didn’t mean to scare you.”  
“I know. You had to do what you had to do. I know you did everything for Rigel. He is a very happy little kid even though he seemed to have a dislike to me.” Don laughed. It seemed he knew it instantly why Rigel didn’t like me.  
\---  
Rigel POV:

There are so many faces that I see. They are like Mama! I’ve been hearing that Mama is sick but is getting better. Uncle Mike-Mike told me that I’ll get sick if I went to Mama quickly. Aunt April is playing my toys with me beside this thing that makes me warm. This toy is my favorite. Mama said it is a motorcycle and it came from my Papa.  
I saw this big man sitting far away and looking at the window. He carried me before they left.  
He seemed sad.  
“Aunt ‘Pril.” I tugged her shirt and I pointed at the man.  
“Oh, do you want to talk to him?”  
I nodded and she carried me.  
“He wants to talk to you.”  
The big man is surprised when Aunt April gave me to him. The big man has a big chest! He is bigger than Mama! I giggled to cheer him up. But he is very sad. I don’t know why he is sad. Is it because of Mama?  
“Hey, lil guy.” He smiled a little and shared my toy with me. He is surprised at my toy. I wondered why. “I am Raph.”  
I blinked. His name is familiar… Oh! He’s the guy that sent Nightwatcher to save Mama!  
“Ra… Raph… Thank… You.”  
Mr. Raph is surprised but he only patted my head. Mr. Raph is a nice guy after all.  
“No problem, kid.”  
I giggled.


	12. Chapter 12

April POV:  
“Am I better now to hold my baby?” Don asked. “I miss holding Rigel already.”  
I smiled. “You are getting better now and don’t worry, Rigel is safe with Raphael.” When I said it, Don’s eyes squinted.  
I know Don still had a grudge to Raphael. “Rigel needed the other parent to rely on… Not that I’m saying anything but… Just let Rigel get to know Raph. Don’t worry. He is taking care of him well.”  
“What is Rigel doing now?”  
“He is playing his toys with Raph. It is a cute sight. Rigel is enjoying so far.”  
Don had gotten silent and just nodded.  
\---  
Don POV:  
I really don’t want Raph in my life again. I felt envy to Leo and Mikey, they fought for their love. April’s voice broke my thoughts.  
“I’m sorry. I had to tell them the truth. I got caught when I was talking to you on phone-“  
“It’s okay.” I smiled. April and Leatherhead tried their best to hide me from them. “I should be thanking you and LH. I think it’s bound to happen anyway.”  
“Thanks, Don.”  
“No. Thank you for all the help.”  
Someone knocked on the door and opened. It is Leo.  
“Is Don okay now?”  
“He’s pretty much had his strength returned. His fever broke a couple of hours ago.” April answered.  
“Is it alright to you that Father wanted to talk to you in his room?”  
I jerked up. As much as I do not want to, I don’t want to disrespect Master. I only nodded. April supported me in standing and walking upstairs.  
“Father… He is here.”  
I walked slowly. I see Master Splinter, he had gotten thinner than the last time I saw him. He had gotten pale too. Is he sick?  
Nervousness crept through my body and I kneel down.  
“My son, lift your head up.” I did as he ordered. I’m surprised that Master went and hugged me.  
“I have missed you, my son.” I yearned to my Father’s voice and embrace. I missed his care and guidance. I cried. “I’m a disgrace, Master. I’m not a good son.”  
“My child, you are not. Leonardo had told me what happened. I only wanted you to be safe and at home.” I kept crying. He held me tighter. He released his embrace because he is coughing. His coughs are pretty bad.  
“Master, are you alright?” I sniffed.  
“It is nothing, my son.” He smiled. I looked at Leonardo and April, something is up. “Master, you had gone thinner. There is something wrong, isn’t it?”  
Master sighed. Leo stepped in. “Father had sickness in his lungs. We are doing everything we could to make him better but it seemed to get worse. He already accepted he is dying and only wanted to spend time with us… As much as he can.”  
My heart stopped. My father is dying and I did not know about it. My nightmares are flashing through the eyes. I had nightmares of Sensei dying, either saving us from the Shredder or from an artifact. I don’t know why I keep dreaming those. I sometimes dream that Sensei is dying and told leave him be. I always cry after waking up from that.  
I won’t let that happen to Father. I’ll do whatever it takes to cure him.  
“Leonardo, please summon Raphael and their son.”   
My heart pumped so hard. I’m sweating as well despite the cold. Mikey went inside, carrying Rigel. Raph soon followed. He kneeled beside me.  
“Ah, is this the so called Rigel?” Master asked and ordered Mike to get closer. I’m worried to Rigel as he is being passed to Sensei. Rigel just giggled and squealed, moving his little arms and feet.  
“Ah, such a delightful child.” He smiled. It is a huge relief from my chest that Sensei didn’t hate Rigel. I saw Master Splinter returning Rigel to Mikey.  
“Please give us privacy.” He requested. Leonardo and the others left, leaving Sensei, Raph and me.  
It had gone silent. All I heard is Sensei sipping his tea.  
“I only had limited knowledge to what had happened. But I’m glad you are safe, Donatello. I will respect whatever is your decision… But allow me to express my thoughts.”  
I stammered. “Hai, Sensei.”  
“I only wished for you to be safely home with our family. My brilliant son is neither a disgrace nor has done dishonorable. I only wish you take consider of allowing Raphael to fulfill his duties as a father.”  
I looked up quickly.  
“I’m proud of you, Donatello, to be capable of raising Rigel to be a good child. But, you may have thought, he needed the other parent to his life. I remembered all of you asking me if you had a mother before…” He sighed. “My sons, I’m already elderly and soon I will be gone, as that is how life goes. I only wanted to see my clan is in a safe and happy condition. I wished to spend time with my grandson as well.”  
My palms are sweating. I felt Raph is nervous as well.  
“As you may know I had already given permission to Leonardo and Michelangelo. Now, I will give you my blessing, as it is already overdue.” He smiled, like a heavy burden had lifted from him. “I have known my sons for long and I knew the affections you had to each other. I only ask you to consider, Donatello, to settle matters with Raphael. He sighed again and sipped his tea. “That is all.”  
I only stared at the ground. The last one Sensei said is still swirling in my head. Memories are going back and forth.  
\---  
“This is not working, Don.”  
My eyes widened. Hours prior, he left me a message that I should meet him in the junkyard.  
“W-What? Why?” My hands and feet are numb.  
“Donnie this is wrong.”  
“Raph, I love you and you felt the same.”  
“Yeah, this is why we need to stop. I can’t continue the lie to our family. We have to break up.”  
No. No…  
“I’m sorry, Don. This is for your sake.”  
I held Raph’s arm. “Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me.” I held his arm tight. I’m crying. “We can do this, Raph. We can confront our family in the right time.”  
“It ain’t easy as that, Don. This has to stop.” He held my shoulders firmly. His tone is cold. I only cried as I tried to grasp him as he slowly turned around and he walked away.  
“No… Come back.”  
“I love you…” I’m willing to go to the end with him. I kneeled in the cold ground and kept on crying and crying. He disappeared as well.  
Did I do something wrong? I gave my heart to him. I did my best to him.  
It hurts. It hurts so much.  
\---  
“Donatello? Are you alright?”  
I didn’t notice I was sobbing while kneeling and my head down. I can see Raph in the corner of my eye, he is looking at me.  
“I-I’m alright, Master.” I sniffed and rubbed my eyes to wipe the tears away.  
\---  
Master Splinter POV:  
I dismissed my two sons, to give Donatello some time to think to his decision. I’m currently carrying their son after asking Michelangelo to bring him back. He is currently sleeping on my chest. He seemed to be comfortable to my fur. Earlier, he had offered me to play with his toys. It seemed his favorite is the red motorcycle and a bunny plush. They are the same toys that I had given to my sons when they were kids.  
Ah, Rigel. My grandson. You had the playfulness like your father and the curiousness of your mother. I cradled and swayed him gently. He cooed a little before sleeping again.  
It’s been a long time since I held my sons this way. I’m aware of their affections when they were still tots. Leonardo loves Michelangelo’s optimism and Raphael admired Donatello’s wit and curiousness. Then, Michelangelo loves Leonardo’s dedication while Donatello admired Raphael’s protectiveness.  
As they grew older, there are cases that a parent lets his child learn new things on his own and solve their problems. But I didn’t expect my brilliant son ran away. I felt there is something going on beyond my knowledge and it just made me realize I was right when Donatello ran away.  
I had searched for my beloved son but my health is already ailing. My sons noticed it and I had to tell them the truth.  
My wish is my family to be happily together and well.  
I sighed. The little bundle started to cry. I gave him a bottle of milk but he didn’t want to. I swayed him faster but his wailing didn’t stop. His diaper is still clean. I reached for his toy and gladly the crying stopped and hugged it. I smiled as I swayed him to go back to sleep. He burped loudly then giggled.  
He definitely acquired Raphael’s shortcomings.  
\---  
Leo POV:  
Father had summoned all of us in the living room. Donnie will state his decision. I’m not sure if Don is healthy enough to do this. I saw his eyes are soggy and he is exhausted. We are all seated in front of Father, April is carrying Rigel and she is beside Father. Raph and Don are in the most front.  
“My son… What is your decision?” Father calmly asked. Don held his head up.  
“I have decided to return to the lair with my son, Rigel. Rigel will recognize Raphael as his father. I had decided this as I have to monitor my father’s health and because of my son’s sake. I admitted I’m inadequate of providing his needs and I wanted him to be happy.” He said.  
“Mama…” Rigel cooed, his tiny arms stretching out to reach Don. Don smiled and April stepped forward and passed Rigel to him. Rigel giggled to his mother’s hold.  
“Very well, my son.” Father smiled and is very pleased. “May I ask you a question, Donatello?”  
“Yes, Sensei?”  
Father looked serious, which made the tension return again.  
“Do you still hold feelings to Raphael?”  
Raph jerked and looked at Father then his gaze fell on Don. Don just looked down and cradling Rigel.  
“Yes.” He answered. “I’m grateful that you have given us a blessing. I wanted to make clear that I’m not doing this for my own feelings. I’m doing this for Rigel’s welfare as he needed a father. The only condition in return is that Raphael and I will be Rigel’s parents but not being as a couple. I’m truly thankful Father but… He had placed the final word in the relationship.”  
There is dead silence with the exception of Rigel cooing.  
“I’m sorry, Father. But I’m very spent.”  
“It is alright, my son. You may rest.”  
Don bowed down as respect, stood up and went back to his room.


	13. Chapter 13

**Don POV:**

“Thank you for helping me, April.”  
“It’s no problem.”  
“I want Rigel to rest with me tonight. I missed my bouncy baby so much.” I said then tickled the cutie baby. Rigel laughed in glee. “Mama! Stop!” I stopped to let Rigel breath as he is still giggling.  
“I will send food later and Rigel’s bottle.” April said. “I’m glad you made that decision. But are you really sure you don’t want Raph and you to be together again?”  
“April, please. Can we talk about it later? I’m too tired from the event earlier.” I am tired after what happened. They knew now I still hold feelings to Raph. I do not even know if he felt the same even though I heard from my brothers he still has. But his actions seemed not convincing me.  
“Understood.” She smiled. “Rest well, okay?” I nodded. “April… Please call Raphael to come inside.” April was definitely surprised by what I had said.  
“Sure.”  
\---  
**Raph POV:**

April approached me and told me Don wanted to see me. I felt everyone is looking at me when I get closer to Don’s room.  
In my brothers, Don is the scariest when he is angry. I already got used to Leo, Mikey usually had tantrums and me, well, I get angry a lot. But Don really notches when he is angry.  
I knocked before going inside. He is letting Rigel play with his toys. Don just stares blankly. I sat down on a chair. There is a heavy silence before Don carried the kid to face me.  
“Rigel, I would like you to meet your father, Raphael.” Don said. Rigel just stared at me.  
Those eyes.  
Rigel giggled and squealed as a response. Both Don and I were completely surprised, especially when he crawled and held my arm.  
“He seemed to have fond of you.” I looked at Rigel after looking at Don.  
“I… I accompanied him when you were resting.” Rigel is like playing with a toddler Don. He often plays this red motorcycle, my favorite toy before. I remembered I gave it to Don for safekeeping.  
“Beside of Rigel meeting you, I believe we have rules to discuss.”  
I really don’t like conversations like this. I always knew this will not end well.  
“You do whatever you want… And I’ll do whatever I want as long as we are taking care of Rigel well. I’ll… Pretend to be together with you as Rigel needed to see we are a loving family.”  
This didn’t settle on me well. I don’t think my feelings are a pretend. I’m not gonna act or that had to fake everything. “Don you said back there that you still held feelings. Why do we have to pretend?”  
“I don’t believe that you still hold feelings to me. After all those months, do you really think things can go back to what they used to be? No!”  
\---  
**Rigel POV:**

Raph is my Papa! I’m very happy! I knew my Papa now! Ra… I mean, Papa seemed glad to have me. I have a Papa and a Mama now!  
I looked at them, their voices are getting a little louder. It hurts my ears. They are not happy.  
They both looked at me and they stopped talking loud. They started to talk something about me.  
\---  
**Don POV:**

“Look, Raph. We shouldn’t argue here. Rigel is watching us.” I said. Rigel was staring at us. He seemed to notice the rise of Raph and my voices. Raph’s anger subsided.  
“Sorry, baby. We didn’t mean to scare you.” I said while hugging him. He resumed giggling.  
“I’m just saying this plan doesn’t sit to me well, Don.” Raph stated and turned around. He only stared at the ceiling, pondering about something.  
“Like it or not, we’re doing this.” I said. I had a knack that Raph will disagree to this. I expected him to be very angry but he didn’t respond to anything. Rigel crawled towards his father and raised his tiny arms, signifying he wanted to be carried. Raph is a little surprised and afraid to carry him because he might hurt Rigel.  
“Here.” I helped him by bringing Rigel up and gently gave it to Raph. “The arm goes here and there. Done.” I said. Rigel just squirmed to his hold and giggled at him. It is an endearing sight. I always wanted to see Raph carrying Rigel. I had… Always dreamed of Rigel seeing his father. I… I always wanted a family of my own… But… I never told Raph about it. I’m very happy that I was given a chance to have a kid yet… It got into complications.  
I don’t even know if Raph is only focusing of staying with Rigel and me. He said he loved me yet I cannot see the trust to his words. I still had that feeling anytime… Raph will just leave us… Or me, again.  
\---  
**Raph POV:**

I swayed Rigel a little as he giggled to my hold. He is so tiny… And he is a mixture of Don and me. I never thought in my whole life that I will have… This.  
For me, Rigel, you are the only one that keeps us together. Don doesn’t trust me yet. I… I still love him.  
I saw Don sleeping after. I had lost track of time when I spend time with Rigel. I know I’m new at this. I might not be a perfect father to you, but for the sake of Don and you… Us… I’ll try.  
I can’t lose Don again… And you as well.  
\---  
**Leo POV:**

It seemed that the night had passed well. The tempest had stopped but it is still cloudy. I heard Raph and Don had a conversation… It made me worried even if Rigel was there.  
I opened the door slowly and quietly as possible to call them for breakfast. I saw Raph sleeping on his chair, seemed to guard Rigel and Don. I smiled. Raph always had that protective streak. He always didn’t show his concern to others but he does care. I knew Raph is passionate in the things he does, even though he and I bicker a lot, it made me observe him more. I’m a little aware that Raph and Don are a little too close way back but I’m too preoccupied to Mikey that time.  
I heard Don groaning.  
“Don, breakfast is ready.” My brother only gave me thumbs up like he always does. I closed the door. I only hope Don to understand that Raph still wanted him.  
“You’re worried about them again.”  
I turned around. I saw Mikey with two mugs of tea and chocolate latte.  
“I can’t help it. They are having a difficult situation now,” I held the mug with the tea in it.  
“As much as we want to help them, I think its best if we leave them be.” We both sat on the couch together. Mikey sipped his sweet beverage.  
“I know, Mike. But this is family. I don’t want them to drift… I just knew what Raph had gone through before… The part he broke up with Don…” Mike stopped drinking. He is very surprised. “You mean… You are thinking of breaking…”  
I nodded. “Yes but I can’t bear seeing you cry. I hate it when you cry, Mike. Even when we were tots.” I held his hand and it made him smile. I love his smiles. I had vowed to make him happy. I didn’t share stories about me considering breaking up with him way back. I knew Raph’s struggle before. He loved Don so much he doesn’t want Don to regret. The outcome of being exiled or being unaccepted by father… I was scared yet I will stay beside Mike no matter what happens.  
\---  
**Don POV:**

I stretched my kinks out and yawned. I saw Raph sleeping beside Rigel. I thought he slept outside. The weather seemed calm now and I felt a lot better than before.  
It wasn’t long when Raph roused as well. Before, he and I spent the time being beside each other on bed whenever we can. He was very warm and nice to cuddle with.  
“Good morning.”  
“Morning.”  
“Leo said food is ready. You better go eat there.”  
“What about you?”  
“We’ll stay here. He is still asleep. I’ll feed him when he wakes up.”  
“… It would be better if we go there together you know.” I was definitely surprised in what he had said. I sighed after.  
“We had an agreement, Raph. You’re not going to boss me around this time.” Great.  
“I ain’t bossing you around I just want us to go there.” Great. And this is the first morning.  
“No, Raph! I can do whatever I want!”  
“Fine then!” He stomped off after. This is really difficult. I don’t get it why he is not putting up with the agreement. He should be happy about it. He can do whatever the hell he wanted! He can go topside and be Nightwatcher or whatever. I sighed deeply. Maybe I pushed this too far. I looked at Rigel. He is slowly opening his eyes again.  
“Good morning, my munchkin.” It made Rigel smile and squeal. He seemed to have a good sleep last night. At least Rigel didn’t see the event earlier.  
\---  
**Mikey POV:**

I saw Raph sitting beside me as he grumpily eats his cereal. Don probably pissed him off again. He started to feel this is a bad idea.  
Sooner or later, Don arrived with Rigel.  
“Ah, I had wondered when you are going to join us, Donatello.” Father said.  
“I’m sorry, Father. I have to wait for Rigel to wake up.” He reasoned. I looked at Raph, he is not looking at Don yet he is slightly pleased that Don is there. Don sat down beside Raph.  
“Do you have any plans when the weather is fine, Donatello?”  
“Yes, Father. I will return to my former home and gather my things there. I have to clean my room and my lab.” He said and started to feed Rigel some cereal.  
“Do you need any assistance, Donatello?”  
Don took a slurp of his dark caffeine. “Yes… Actually. I can’t do it all alone, Father. I had to rearrange the room for Rigel.”  
“Very well. Take Raphael with you.”  
Both of them looked at father.  
“As I told you, Father, I will not force him to-“  
“Okay.”  
Don stopped speaking. He is speechless at Raph’s reply.  
“Ah, that is settled then. Leonardo and Michelangelo will be preparing as celebration of your arrival.” Father nodded.  
“Father…”  
“It is alright. It is a celebration that my son… And my grandson has returned.” Father replied. Don only nodded, yet he seemed touched.  
“I only ask you not to strain yourself too much. Raphael, do whatever is necessary for Donatello not to overwork. All of us are aware of his habit of work.”  
\---  
**Don POV:**

This just in. Father is definitely setting us up.  
Raph and me. Alone.  
Great.


End file.
